Twenty Seven

Dear Myself or should I call you J?

Thank you for hanging there and keep surviving until you reach 27. What an amazing achievement, right? You might agree or disagree with me. When we look back and reflect on what we have done until today, some part are just like a dream which for us came true. You might be one step later than your friends when you just graduated high school and now you can see where you stand. It's not as close as what we expected it to be, but still you got steady job and decent life. Pretty much okay, I would assume.

On important notes, I'm glad that you become much better than you used to be. But let's try harder, shall we? Let's get rid of things that slowing you down to become a better person, let's be more cheerful as you used to be. And let's put our complaints or negative thoughts in a proper place. Just do what you can do, and please be good at everyone. Though you don't like it, you have to put up with it. Fake it til we make it.

When you think that your world collapses and nobody lifts you up, you still have your own feet to stand and pick up yourself. It's not as hard as you think it would be, it's just how life goes on. What makes it hard is actually the way you see things and you foresee something that might not happen at all. Those bad scenarios only happened in your head, remember?

At this point, you might longing for something you don't have yet. I do understand, aren't we all keep looking for something we don't own? Human, naturally. It's okay, as long as you keep it steady, slow, and low. You don't rush with anyone, you have your own timeline. So walking slow now is okay. Life is not a competition though some people might think so. But for you, all you need to do is focus. Don't lose hope and grip to your long goals.

What is that? You need to figure out, how valuable you are. You need to figure out, how to get back to the place that you keep dreaming until now. And you know very well how to reward yourself. So, keep doing that. Keep creating something and become productive gurl! Keep doing that drumming session every weekend, move your body with dancing, and rock the illustrating for the sake that you love doing all that. The most important thing: try to love your job. No matter how hard or difficult it would be. You are strong, so hang in there. Get that shit done and back to your shape. Don't think too much about another person's expectation. You don't live with it.

J, thank you for being you. For being undeniably strong girl I've ever met in my life. Thank you for keep living. Thank you for doing better everyday.

You are surrounded by lovely people. One or two or more? Just cut off those who don't appreciate you and embrace one who loves you. Oh, you have a lover now. So, be kind to him. And keep alive J, keep doing better in the future, keep your idealism. Don't ever forget your root and goals. Let's glow up more girl! You rock!

Warmest Regards,

Your other self.